School meetings
In this Guide we’ll help you get the most from school meetings so you can be sure your child is getting all the support they need to do their best.
What are school meetings for?
School meetings happen for various reasons.
If your child is receiving SEND support in school their support should be reviewed at regular meetings and you should be invited to attend these meetings.
If you have questions, or are concerned about your child’s progress in school, you can ask for a meeting anytime with the SENDCo (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Coordinator) at the school.
Parents that we work with tell us that they can often find meetings with their children’s schools emotionally overwhelming, and even frustrating. So we’ve created a step-by-step guide to help you make the most out of school meetings. This advice can also be applied to meetings with Early Years settings, colleges and as part of the Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) process.
Organising a Meeting
Making Contact
Find out the appropriate person to contact at the school. This is usually your child’s teacher, the SENDCo, or the school admin office if you’re not sure.
Then, send an email to provide a little introduction and express why you’d like a meeting. Here’s an example email that you could adapt.
Subject: Request for A Meeting to Discuss [Your Child’s Name]’s Progress
Dear [Contact Person’s Name],
I hope this message finds you well. My name is [Your Name], and I am the parent of [Your Child’s Name] in [Class]. I am reaching out to discuss [briefly mention the purpose – e.g. academic progress, support needs, etc.].
I think a face-to-face meeting would be useful, to ensure we’re all aligned in supporting [Your Child’s Name] effectively. I’m available on [suggest a few dates and times if you wish], and I would appreciate it if we could arrange a convenient time for all parties involved.
Please let me know if there is any specific information or documentation you require from me before the meeting.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
With regards,
[Your Full Name]
[Contact Information]
Before the Meeting
Know the Attendees
- Know who will be present and ask for clarification if there are names you don’t know.
Communicate Your Needs
- Inform the school about any necessary adjustments (if you’ll need a large font, an accessible room, a hearing loop etc).
- Consider bringing a friend or relative for informal support (inform the school in advance).
Preparation
- Enquire about any information that’s going to be discussed.
- Ask for any necessary documents to be sent to you beforehand, so you can properly read through or do your own research.
- Read the school’s SEND Information Report (this is usually available on their website) for insights into support.
Think about your questions
- Talk to your child, so you can note their struggles, hear what helps them, and listen to any positive ideas they may have.
- List all the questions you want to ask. Remember, no question is ever wrong. We’ve got some examples you might want to look at for ideas.
- Note down any points you would like to discuss or clarify.
- Anticipate anything that may worsen the situation.
Meetings and emotions
A school meeting can be a stressful event. Your emotions may be raised because the meeting is about your child or because you don’t think he or she is getting the support they need. But remember that things will go better if you remain calm.
- Think about things that might trigger you and plan how you could react positively.
- If you get nervous or anxious try to think about positive outcomes and visualise the meeting going well.
- Plan your travel to the meeting so you have a few minutes before you go in to collect your thoughts.
- Approach the meeting with a positive mindset.
- Try to stay calm during the meeting.
- It’s okay to tell people that you are angry or upset – but try to do it calmly.
- If you find that your emotions are getting in the way you could ask for a short break so you can gather your thoughts.
During the Meeting
Introduction and Roles
- Ensure everyone introduces themselves so you know who’s who.
- Understand their roles and responsibilities, and how they relate to your child. If you have any doubts, ask.
Meeting Logistics
- Ask for the minutes of the meeting to be taken.
- Request a copy for your own record.
- Keep your list of questions close at hand.
- Feel free to take notes yourself.
- Review and run through the agreed-upon actions before concluding the meeting.
If formal minutes are not taken, then follow up after the meeting with an email. Outline what was discussed and any outcomes that were agreed (including any dates agreed upon for action to be taken)
Seek Clarification
- Ask for explanations on anything you’re not sure of or don’t understand.
- Again, remember there are no wrong questions.
Consider All Perspectives
- Acknowledge the school’s viewpoint.
- Recognise that your experience is valid.
Focus on Solutions
- Suggest solution-oriented actions.
- Explore the possibilities for extra support and ask where and how you can receive this.
- Agree on future steps that will be taken and try to avoid dwelling on past issues.
Concluding the meeting
- Write down some action points so that everyone clearly understands who will do what and when.
- Determine how the action points will be reviewed, and when the next meeting will take place.
- Discuss how any outstanding concerns will be addressed – whether by phone call, email, second meeting etc.
- Establish a date to review the progress following on from this meeting, and ensure you’re given any contact information you may need.
- Identify a contact person for future questions. Ask how that person should be contacted, e.g. do they prefer email? Do they only work on specific days?
After the Meeting
Following the meeting you should know:
- Who is going to do what and when
- How the action points are going to be reviewed
- How are any other issues going to be followed up
- Who you can contact if you have any questions
If you are unsure of any of these get in touch with the person you agreed would be your point of contact.
If Concerns Persist
After the specified timeframe, you should evaluate if the situation has improved or not. If concerns persist, then it’s sensible to reassess strategies.
- Clarify if the agreed-upon actions were implemented or if there were any obstacles.
- If necessary, speak to the Headteacher and discuss all your concerns.
- Refer to the school’s complaints policy (which should be available on the school’s website).
For additional information and support, check out our other Guides.
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